I’ve spoken to many founders in my career and, particularly recently, they’ve been more and more interested in discussing “dream culture”. They tell me about the values they came up with, and the communication guidelines, and how everyone in the business gets an introduction to their mission upon onboarding. And while I love the intent, there’s one thing I’ve noticed is often missing: habits. 

Culture is constantly evolving. It exists in every corner of your business. And it’ll continue to grow and transform every day, whether you work on it or not. Defining your values and expected behaviors, for example, is an excellent way to internalize the direction in which you want your culture to grow - but embedding daily practices that carry your values is the only way to truly solidify the culture you want. 

The good news is that not all habits need to happen at once (that’s impossible - you need to start small). Simple building blocks can be put in place and added to on a weekly or monthly basis. But the key thing is to turn actions into habits, and keep layering more as they solidify and drive impact. Feedback, in my opinion, is the very first of those building blocks. It’s the backbone of intentional culture, and it’s the one thing you can start doing today that will immediately and ongoingly impact the company and culture you are building. 

Feedback is a low hanging fruit to drive accountable culture 

Understanding the goal of good feedback is the most important step towards actually becoming good at this practice. It’s not a favor we do to the receiver, and it’s not a grading system like the ones we know from school. Feedback done right creates clarity and alignment on goals, expectations and performance.

Once we overcome the first hurdle - understanding the point of feedback - the challenge that most people face is that they don't know how to give feedback in a helpful way. That’s no surprise: Most managers and founders have progressed in their careers because they’re great at their discipline. Product management, software development, growth hacking. Whatever it is. And they progress, get promoted, and lead people because they’re good at something -, and often, that’s not people management. So they take on an entirely new skillset without ever having had to develop it. 

Feedback - giving and receiving - is like a muscle, you need to train it to be good at it. And here’s how you can get started. 

A playbook on how to give feedback 

Preparing to feedback:

Habits won’t come out of thin air or thought, they require preparation and action. And that goes for feedback too. When working with founders and managers who are looking to develop this muscle, I encourage them to make the first step an intentional, thoughtful, and highly structured one. 

We begin with the direct reports. But the goal of this is to train the muscle and feel comfortable giving (and later receiving) feedback to your manager, colleagues, and people who work with you. However, for now, let’s start small. 

Step 1: Getting started with your direct reports - The first meeting

1. Set intent: Decide you want to have this process, and commit to dedicating the time. Understand that it’ll be an investment that requires effort

2. Set up a dedicated meeting for the first session. This first one will be longer, it’ll focus entirely on feedback, and it’ll set the tone for implementing feedback in your future 1-1s.

3. Take an hour to write feedback. Actually block this out in your diary, and treat it like a project write up

4. Tell your report why you are having this meeting, and let them know that you are working on making this a habit. E.g.:

   “Hey X, I’m working on building processes and habits that support our culture and drive clarity and alignment across our company. Ongoing feedback is an important part of this, and I’d like to have a session with you (and all other reports) to kick off this habit that we’ll then embed in our weekly routine. This is a two-way street, and I encourage you to share feedback with me too, as part of this process” 

5. After you had the first feedback meeting, make sure to embed feedback as an agenda item in your weekly 1:1s (or any equivalent recurring meeting)

Step 2: Writing down the feedback notes

There are many approaches to feedback and the more you do it the more you find ways that align with your nature and experience. But the main point is to find a way to clearly articulate, in a helpful manner, how the actions and work of that person impacted their department and wider success of the business. 

I recommend using the Start, Stop, Continue framework, as this will help you structure feedback clearly.

• As I already mentioned, the first session is the longest, so make sure you take the time. Write down, in as much detail as you can, the Start, Stop, Continue items you want to communicate. Writing it down will help you structure your thoughts, and identify questions you may have about certain behaviors. More often than not, it will even help you identify how you can better support the team member.

• This should not be a shopping list but the key things you think that person needs to do, to be better at their role in the company and drive their team and this company to the next level. Don’t write more than 3 in each one and aim to have at least one in each bucket. 

• The key things you need to keep in mind are context and clarity. Providing feedback takes time and it’s important to articulate why this matters to make the other side understand. It’s not about blaming them and it’s definitely not about reprimanding them, but rather helping them understand the impact (positive or negative) their actions and behaviors have on the company. If you don’t provide context and only put “one liners”, you will not create clarity nor will you encourage the team member to grow.

How to write notes using Start, Stop, Continue 

For each section focus on activities and behaviors and 

• Think about the most critical points you would like them to act upon

• Why does it matter to you and the business? What is the value you see in it?

• Explain the outcome this has on you as an individual, as their manager or on the team/company and don’t just focus on facts 

Make sure the first topic you address is “Continue” - if you focus on the negatives first, you’ll have a harder time looking at the positives later. 

Continue: What should the person keep doing?

These are activities and behaviors that you’ve seen the person act upon and you see value in continuing doing them however, these behaviors aren’t yet part of their core operations or behavior (or if they are, you think it’s worth recognizing them)

Example 

• Context and background - 2 weeks ago you started sending me agendas ahead of our meetings and pre-reading material

• Action - I would like you to continue sending me these

• Impact -  I find the notes really help us have productive meetings. Since you started doing this, I’ve been able to better prepare for these meetings, make faster decisions in the meeting itself and add more value to our 1-1s. 

Start: What should you start doing?

These are activities and behaviors to improve your processes, reduce time waste, and positively impact the way you and your direct report or team function. Think about both functional/role specific and personal/ behavior elements that might fall into this category.

Example 

• Context - In the last 2 months you’ve had many meetings with customers that explore very high-value product ideas for the business. The insights you’ve shared with me are so valuable, and I would love for you to share these wider so the whole business can benefit from your experience 

• Action - I would like you to start sharing with the company the key insights from these meetings, as well as any takeaways, decisions, and actions 

• Impact -  This will allow your colleagues to share in your experience and benefit from the ideas discussed. It helps us drive alignment and gives the business context for any future decisions that may come from these client meetings

Stop: What should you stop doing?

These activities and behaviors are inefficient, wasteful, or have a negative impact on the way they as an individual or the team functions. Again, it’s important to consider both functional (e.g the responsibilities of role they hold) and personal behavioral elements.

Example 

• Context - Over the past 2 months you have booked 4-5 additional meetings per week with me to ask me follow up questions on strategy or commercial information. 

• Action or Behaviour to Stop -  I would like to post it on slack or on a Gdoc (defer to asynchronous alignment shared in public forums) even if the questions are highly complex.

• Impact - while I understand that calls may feel more convenient, they actually take up a lot of time and hinder transparency across the business. When sharing in a public forum, you are allowing others to a) see the answers in case they had similar questions or b) answer if they are available which will get you the information faster instead of being depended on our meeting

Step 3: The Feedback Meeting - Balancing emotions and feedback

Feedback can be tough, especially when it's new. We’re taught to take constructive feedback as something that calls us out for “not being” or “not doing '' good enough. Most of us think of the grading systems in schools. And when you begin building this habit with your teams, it may be triggering. 

What I always say is: Any feedback that comes as a surprise is a sign of poor management and poor feedback skills. But if you’re new to giving feedback, allow yourself some space to catch up - and acknowledge that some feedback may come as a surprise. 

Ask your report how they feel about what they heard. Recognise that it’s hard to hear feedback. And reiterate the purpose of the session. It’s not a grading system - it’s a (new) habit that will drive alignment, expectations, and clarity. Level with them. Be human. 

If your report gets defensive, nudge them to be open and level with you. You are not here in an offensive position, so they do not need to take a defensive one. Encourage them to ask clarifying questions. And ask them yourself. You’ll both, likely, find out something new and useful about each other that will improve your collaboration. 

Try to end on a positive note, especially if you followed the Stop, Start, Continue model. Make sure when sharing feedback you finish with “Continue”. You want to end with a good atmosphere, and let your report get on with their workday feeling like they got something useful, and positive, out of that meeting. 

Send them written notes after the meeting. This will help create accountability for the feedback you shared. 

Embedding systemic feedback in your way of working 

Once the first session is done, you’re ready to turn this action into a habit. Bring it into your weekly session with the team member, but also share proactively throughout the week. Normalize feedback, seek it out proactively from your managers and direct reports. Make it constant. Ensure no feedback comes as a surprise.

And soon, your teams will follow suit. In my next post, I’ll talk about building feedback into your wider team’s day to day, and turning it into a habit that drives a culture of transparency, alignment, and clarity.